I often have the interesting experience of walking around my city in very
nice, well fitting and in style clothing. I feel confident, attractive, like I am at the top of my game, that I have "made it". It is comforting to know that people will like me, that I won't make them uncomfortable, or fit into any negative stereotypes. It is validating to know that according to societies metrics they cannot, at least for the moment, find me at fault for anything.
But it is a bit contrived and only on the surface of things can society measure me. At least in this context where I am surrounded by strangers who know nothing of my personal life. So I have also had the interesting experience of walking around the city in old jeans, a t-shirt and some cheap sneakers. A situation that makes no attempt to impress, measure up to another person's expectations or aesthetic desires. In this situation I also feel confident. But not because I'm attractive, but simply because I feel like a good person. Because, at least for the moment, I cannot find any fault with myself.
In the former I was outwardly focused on societies expectations. The latter I am inwardly focused, only concerned about myself. It's not to say that I can't feel like a good person when wearing expensive clothes, or that by thinking of myself I am a selfish person. It's not about being one or the other. The question is how to combine the two into one. And that I think is the focus and goal of anyone's philosophy and should be the basis of how a person chooses to pursue their purpose in life. As a Westerner I am accustomed to focusing on the self over the group. But we as a society must coexist and this balancing act is something that we all juggle. It is a process of bringing synergy and consistency to our beliefs, desires and our behavior and this is one example of that.