What Forgiveness is to Me.

How do I define forgiveness? Forgiveness is addressing my past. It is separating my ego from the facts. It is changing my story into reality. It is accepting that an injustice occurred and coming to terms with it. It is learning to stop hurting myself long after that person did and restoring my dignity and self-respect. It is giving myself permission to stop suffering and to let go. It is reconnecting with myself and the world I am in.

Injustice is a part of my past and doesn’t have to be a part of me now. Those people were not reacting to the situation at hand, but to their past. None of their actions were my responsibility and none of it is a reflection of who I am. I realize there is a separation between my thoughts and feelings and the actions of others, and that what other people do doesn’t necessitate a state-of-mind on my part. I choose how to think and feel. I choose to take action to improve my life. It was my choice to give up my dignity and self-respect and it is my choice to take them back now.

This doesn’t mean they are off the hook. What they did was wrong and they should make reparations. However, I no longer expect them. I realize they thought they were doing the right thing by protecting themselves. I choose to be a better person by not being unjust towards others. I will use compassion to treat them with dignity and respect and reduce their own suffering if I can.

Forgiveness is being free.