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Resolving Conflicts

After a very long time of trying to become better at workplace communication and conflict resolution I finally have a basic outline that seems to work. The focus is very much on avoiding personality conflicts and egos and getting everyone what they want.

  1. Clarify the nature of the debate. Be sure everyone is talking about the same thing. Get past misunderstandings.
  2. Get data. Make sure claims are real. This will end a lot of debates.
  3. State exactly what you need to end the disagreement. Don't even bother to state your position unless necessary. It provides more utility to just state what's required to move forward.
  4. Same thing on the other end. Find out what they need to end the disagreement.
  5. Come to Terms. Everything is on the table, find a way to make it work. Keep focus on the terms and not on the people. Leave egos out of this. Make sure everyone comes out ahead and (to the extent possible) everyone gets what they want.
  6. Deliver your end of the bargain.

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