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Inner-Strength (Revisited)

After the first article on inner-strength, I thought that having inner-strength in and of itself wasn't enough to garner the kind of support and accomplish what you set out to.

Beyond inner-strength is perception. Perception others have of you. Being centered, calm and unmoved as you travel about your day is one thing, but I've noticed that it is easy to be misinterpreted when interacting with others. The best example is people being disrespectful. Should you speak up or not? Are you at work? Should you just go to his boss? Or speak to the store manager? Or do you ignore it and move on, turn the subject towards what's important and get the job done. Because that's what really counts. Accomplishing what you set out to.

It's a fine line determining when to let things roll and when to speak up. And whatever you do make sure you convey a tone that you are in a position of strength and self-control. My current policy is something like this. People are people, we all have bad days, let things slide generally. In your response it's important to proceed as if they were never disrespectful. It shows generosity on your part and it also shows that you weren't put off by it. If it is a repeat situation then it's time to do something about it. Be clear of the behavior that you expect of them. Keep it friendly, but get stern if necessary. Force never works. Stay focused on their deliverables. If it's a one time encounter it depends on the severity of the attitude and whether or not that person is delivering on their promise.

Tone is just as important. People with attitude often include one or more of the following components in their argument. It's not usually explicitly stated, it's in the tone:

  • Your needs aren't important
  • I deserve to treat you like shit
  • It's not my fault, I'm a victim
  • This is your fault

Always remember to be centered, keep your cool, be unmoved by those around you. Keep on the look out for these situations so you can spot them right away and defuse them.

Stay focused on the goal. You deserve what you came for and you aren't going to leave until you get it. You are an equal among equals, you have your responsibilities, they have theirs and you deserve to be treated with respect.

If you want respect then it's important to be perceived as strong and capable. Someone who can be trusted is reliable, does what he says and always accomplishes what he sets out to. You must have inner-strength and you must know how to act on it.

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